#1. If it requires more than ten sentences to get your point across, no one is going to sustain interest long enough to get to the end of your ramblings. They are called status updates. Not "all that I did today" short stories!
#2. If they are just a way for you to brag about yourself, people will see right through it. And get annoyed. Really, you may have just nailed the most amazing job interview ever, but if you think you've been subtle about blowing your own horn, you probably haven't.
#3. If you're going to gush on and on about your incredible love life, you genius children and your super, duper friends, do all your facebook "friends" a favor and invest in a private journal.
#4. No one really cares to hear all about your deep seeded anger issues when it comes to politics. Okay, so you have an opinion and you want to share it, fine. But if it involves the words "morons, conspiracy and someone should stage a protest rally", there are websites out there you'd be better off saving those intellectual gems of insight for.
#5. If you can't spell and are too lazy to heed the squiggly red lines that show up to supposedly idiot-proof your update, you don't belong on the Internet. Period.
#6. If you can't update the world about your life without dropping the F bomb, get a life. Because we are all assuming you don't have one if your use of the English language is that limited.
#7. Finally, if you must use inane, trendy abbreviations, save them for text messages. If you cannot resist smiley and/or frown face signs, save them for your comments to other peoples posts. If your own post is ambiguous enough that it's readers won't be able to ascertain your mood with out you providing a little colon-and-parenthesis-combo clue, reword your post.
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