We are in the process of selling our current home and buying a new one. The days have been absolutely jam-packed with stuff. (I can't even tell you what exactly. That's how much attention I've been paying to everything going on, so manic-ly around us.) Plus it's summer. Every weekend and free days is spoken for well in advance. And in trying so desperately to hold onto the 'quickly slipping away' moments of pure pleasure that summer brings for such a short time, I realize we as a family have been living on auto-pilot.
We shuffle back and forth from activity to obligation. We undertake projects and causes with a checklist mentality. We fill every spare minute, fearful that what doesn't get done RIGHT NOW simply won't get done ever. And then what? Horror, upon horrors.......then what??!!!!!
E, being young and vulnerable, had quickly caught on to the futility, not to mention, destructiveness of our behavior. She has sensed that our priorities are off and that we are in serious jeopardy of becoming people who practice life and yet fail to live it.
So she's begun throwing tantrums. And screaming. And talking back. And disobeying. And she has specifically begun doing so when we are running around at peak "chicken's with our heads cut off" mode. Like she innately senses this is a terrific teaching moment for not only herself but also for her erring mom and dad and let's have a complete melt-down in order to see what happens.
And what happens? Do we stop? Do we put what we are trying so hard to get done on hold and address her behavior? Do we look at the big picture and the critical message that we are sending our child?
Or do we opt for whatever shuts her up fastest and continue on with our hamster wheel life?
I fear, as of late, we have been doing the latter. And it's really a back-firing option. Because her behavior just accelerates in a downward spiral and dealing with her bad attitude and testy moods simply becomes one more thing on our over-full plates.
So.
Here's to the child becoming the parent already. Here's to E's spectacularly arresting wake up calls. Here's to disciplining with intent, listening to what my child is really trying to say and being un-busy and un-distracted and un-spinning off in a million directions enough to actually listen. And change.
