....why your brain works overtime when you can't sleep.

I normally don't blog this late at night. I normally don't do anything (since becoming a mother, that is) this late at night; except for drooling and occasionally making it through to the end of a movie in one sitting. Which I usually end up paying for the next day and I'm then left to wonder how in the world I used to pull all those late nights, of long ago. I must have been nuts.

Tonight I am awake thanks to an insistent and ominous sore throat that leaves me slightly dreading the illness it is heralding in. And of course, since I want very much to just ignore my sore throat and fall asleep my brain is on over drive coming up with all sorts of interesting thought topics just to keep me awake. And therefore focused on my sore throat. So I can think of more ridiculous things. Just to keep me awake. And therefore......you get the picture.

Some examples of my random mental wanderings: where my daughter's secret hiding place is located. My husband and I know she has to have one. Too many things keep disappearing never to be seen again. Like the lid to our Vaseline jar. And the computer remote. And one of the butterfly window decals we just bought. One minute she has them firmly in hand. Then the next minute...POOF! Vanished without a trace. This does not sit well with me. As someone for whom a misplaced object quickly becomes an all-consuming must-find-now fixation (I take after my own mother in this) I am a bit on edge. The Vaseline lid was the first to elude us, months ago now. And I freely admit, I tore the house apart looking for it. (For one thing, how can Vaseline continue to be Vaseline with open exposure to the air?) But to no avail. Then the remote. Followed in quick succession by the butterfly. Maybe I should return all those board books I checked out from the public library. If my daughter's going to continue on in this "now you see it, now you don't" streak it might just be the smart thing to do.

Another thought: What am I going to get my husband for his birthday? This I actually spent more time considering. Yet it has a shorter paragraph. Yeah. That's how stumped I am.

Is my husband's cousin coming to visit Saturday? If so, is it for a meal? And if so again, what am I going to make?

My daughter hates milk. How can I manipulate her into drinking it? Maybe there are helpful hints on the Internet?

I have Bible study in the morning. In the whole entire course of this week, tomorrow is the only day I have to actually be awake, coherent and dressed before 8 and wouldn't you know it......it's 11:30 and I'm still up. Maybe I shouldn't go? Maybe I should email my regrets now? But what if I wake up tomorrow (assuming I actually sleep and therefore have something to wake up from) and I feel guilty for bailing yet I've already said they could go on without me......? Maybe I shouldn't email? Maybe I should just resolve to go, no matter what?

And on and on the thoughts circle; like a pack of wolves. I think they're trying to find a weakness in my sanity. I think they want to separate it from the pack and kill it.

You see, even my trying to make sense of the senseless is whacked. And slightly paranoid. (And I wouldn't even tell you how many typing errors spellcheck had to catch for me.)

Ok, well, here's to crazy thoughts. At least they are an infrequent enough occurrence that I am able to recognize them when they do show up.